Questions for the enlightened

Urban China life is not quiet. Honking, jackhammers, squeaking brakes, rapid fire conversation, the hum of scooters and the bells of bicycles create a cacophony making it difficult to just think. Adding in the mental strain of constantly translating and surveying the path ahead for pitfalls leaves little energy for intentional, introspective, contemplative thought.

As I have been away, I have noticed the a similar thread in all the emails that I have received: everyone back home is busy. Just so busy. The days get away from you with all the things on your plate and while you could innumerate all the things you did that day, it is easier to just summarize and say, "I am just too busy."

I have been told too many times that you figure out a lot about how to be a better parent once your kids are out of the house and you are alone again. Maybe it is only then, in the silence of a home without children, that you get the opportunity to think and figure out how or what you should have done differently.

Enter our choice to come to China: I wiped my slate clean of all non-parental responsibilities and have been given (or gave myself?) the opportunity to hit a midlife RESET button. I will return to the United States able to rebuild my "plate of life" as I see best for those years I have left to live. Perhaps the greatest part of this whole experience is that I did it when my kids are young enough that --if I truly make changes-- they will benefit from it as well. It does not have to be 2030 when Tucker heads off to college when I realize that I spent too many years being senselessly "busy".

Now, I actually have the much harder task to complete, I need to evaluate that previous life. What should be the focus of my energy? Who should be the focus of my time? Does my kid need to play that sport? Can I say no to this request? Are we centered on what is really important? Are we putting proper effort into the right things?

Eight weeks away has taught us all a lot. Interestingly, distance has made some things (and people) more clear. Absence has refocused us to the Big Picture; some things you can only discern once you are far enough away to observe them for their whole and not their parts.

In this loud-voiced land, I am reminded that everything is the result of a conscious choice. Now if I could just quiet it down enough to hear my heart's desire for the future.