This little curly went to the market

**We continue to have incredibly unreliable internet and wifi service, even with the VPN. Random power outages and scheduled ones (no power this Saturday 8a-18p!) so this blog represents what we did on Wednesday. It is now 5:54 a.m. on Thursday. The kids are asleep still! This is a record!!!**

Today we were invited to tour the Wuhan Yangtze International school with Rebecca from foreign fellowship. The building where the school will be this year is brand new. As a teacher I participated in the moving/opening/first year in two new high schools and it was interesting to see how this school was prepared for school which starts in just a few weeks.

The building is five stories tall surrounded by a tall fence and guard shack. Previously the school was two floors and shared a physical building with a Chinese school so the facility is a tremendous "step up." It seems to me there are many aspects of the culture here that build exercise into your daily life. Working at a building where you might be climbing five sets of stairs (multiple times) a day would definitely be an example of that. The kindergarten class was so cute. Everything was just as you would expect it to be back home for a school that was age 3 through grade 12 in one building. I have already emailed the school librarian before we arrived, so I am hoping to go back once school is open and once a week as the 10 softcover books I brought with us are already losing their charm.

Gorgeous, right? But watch out for that scooter! (We are INSIDE a building, people!)

Rebecca needed to go to the outdoor market and asked if I wanted to go with her. I am not turning down any opportunities to practice speaking or doing daily life activities with the locals when I have help, so we went. The driver was able to understand her directions (it was just 5 minutes from the school) and her request for him to stay and wait.

Greeeeeeeeeeeen beeeeeeeeeeeeans.

The market is everything you would expect of a traditional Chinese market: under a metal roof in something that might remind you of an airport hangar there is vendor after vendor displaying their produce. Around the perimeter of the vendors on the inside were small vendors selling baskets/watches/ perfumes/plungers/wooden things/bags/you name it out of little stall like stores. It was loud, dirty, and wonderful. Seriously it was the coolest thing I have seen yet. If I had been their sans kids and with my good camera, it literally would have been a slice of heaven. As a foodie, I desperately wanted to taste everything. Only about 75% of what I saw was identifiable. Rebecca took me to her favorite carrot lady and she gave us "good price" on some things. I probably purchased from 6 vendors. Again, they were quick to give the kids samples. Hudson ate some type of root thing then gave it to me and said it tasted like dirt. Yep, it did.

See those purple-ish things above the chilis? That is what the man peeled for Hudson.

I am so excited to share that I know what strange fruit they are selling everywhere (that we bought Monday outside our supermarket). It is lotus. The lotus flower is very special to this area. In addition to the flower part that we bought to eat, they eat the root too. I snapped this picture as we were walking out.

Lotus! Okay, so you crack these open in your hands (like a mushroom) then there are these green balls.
With your fingernails you tear them open and there are white balls inside.
What do they taste like? Um, nothing? Air and dirt? 

Our purchases: watermelon (10RMB), unshelled edamame (8RMB), 5 ears corn (15RMB), 2 pounds carrots (3 RMB), 1 celery stalk (1 RMB), 1 pound huge purple grapes (10 RMB). In total we spent about $8. My backpack was heavier than Tucker (I was carrying both). There were vendors who had prepared food too. One day I will try something. I think I will veto anything that still resembles the body part of which it is though.

Spices. Everywhere.

In the back of the building there are live chickens and such for sale. I am trying to be really careful what germs we expose ourselves to our first week, so I vetoed going back there. But I am dying to see it. Anyway, it was already near 97 degrees (at 10:30 a.m.) so we decided to go back to the van.

For the first time I overheard something and understood it. A group of men stopped near us and said "Meiguo ren. Meiguo ren." That means "American." I asked Rebecca if I would ever get used to the people staring at the kids, and she just laughed. "It's not just the kids. You too, " she said. "That curly blonde hair and blue eyes of yours stands out in this crowd."

He was singing "Do you want to build a snowman?" Ha!!! Love him!

My Mandarin Minivan Man

Go ahead and say out loud all the Mandarin words that you know.

Go ahead.

No judgement. I started practicing 3 months ago and can say only 30 or so words. And of those, I would only understand 20 of them if you were pointing or using sign language to confirm my guess of what you were saying.

How many words did you say? One? Two? Three? Yeah, that is about as much English as everyone I have met so far knows. Aside from the young girl who scans our IDs at breakfast, everyone is just as clueless as to how to talk to me as I am on how to talk to them. (The girl at breakfast is smitten kitten with little Tucker. She cuddles him up every time we see her whether we are in the lobby or eating.)

This language barrier is so overwhelming that every little minute that I spend outside our apartment finds itself with compounded exhaustion.

So with all this going on, you become crazy gracious when people who know the language offer to take you off the ranch to eat. Up to this point, we have survived on "pizza" from downstairs, peanut butter and jelly, popcorn galore, random fruits, that amazing meal (but very American) we had after foreign fellowship on Sunday, and the various easy snack foods I picked up at the supermarket (chaoshi). Last night we went out to eat with Josh's boss, Jeff, and a friend who we had met previously in Indiana, Cristos.

Wowza. It was so interesting! Let us start with the chef's specials.

Mommy...intestine again?

Jeff was happy to order our entire meal. In China, everything is served family style, so we had seven main course dishes on our table. And you just go for it. Eating a little of this, a lot of that. Everything has spicy heat to it and it is fantastic.

We did get the pan fried dumplings (pictured at very top) and a beef and broccoli dish which were made not spicy (bu xinla) for the kids. Tucker actually ate!!! Hudson was game to try several dishes, but he really went crazy on those dumplings. They were fantastic.

My favorite dish was this cabbage thing. It had red chills in it and was just so tasty.

Today I used our driver (Mr. Song) for the first time. He took us to Cummins so we could attempt, with  the help of those who speak English at the company, to talk to him about logistics of how this driver thing works. Mr. Song speaks no English as far as I can tell. This is a pretty freaky thing if you think about it. We have this guy driving us around and I just have to hope that he understands where to take me. And if he starts to go someplace wrong I have no ability to tell him that, but how would I know because I have no idea where I am.

For example, we are getting low on diapers so I thought I would have him take me back to WanDa shopping area so I could buy some at the WalMart, which is in the huge three level mall about a mile and a half from our apartment. The taxi driver had just dropped Rebecca and I off on Sunday on the road right outside the door. Granted we kind of had to jump out and dodge all the cars but it was at least at the front door. Well, Mr. Snow goes into the parking garage under the mammoth mall and I immediately had no clue where anything was. I did not have even a clue where the elevator was. Every sign is in Chinese. I do see the word English word EXIT which is no help because that is for leaving the whole compound and the word EMERGENCY and that is some type of safehouse shelter room. He parks the van and just sits and waits for me to get out.

Um, okay. So I look at him and point up (thinking where is the elevator) and he points towards one direction and I, with my two blond babes in tow, go for it. 

Turns out the elevator he pointed to was for a particular store, but whatever I can figure this out, right? I pick a button and walk out into a very nice Macy's type place. But you know how crazy lost they can make those department stores? I bet it took me another 10 minutes to figure out how to get out of the very nice Macy's type place and get into the actual mall. Immediately we see a playplace. It  is awesome and there are kids everywhere! I let the kids play for a minute but feel the pressure to get back to the van. So we start to wander through this mall with no clue which direction we are to be going. And, of course, (you know where this is going) people are STOPPING and TAKING PICTURES of the kids. Good gracious.

Finally I see a sign that says IMAX which I knew was right by WalMart so we go that way. I bought the diapers and let the kids each pick out one thing (Tucker got a tub of plastic dinosaurs 19 RMB ($3) and Hudson got an Angry Birds mug 21 RMB ($3.50)) We did a slow detour around the huge display of fish scales, skins, eyes, and other assorted dried fish parts. (I have a picture of that on my phone. I will try and share it later.)

Walmart is multiple stories tall (just like the mall) so I am slowly but surely getting myself towards the checkout. Thank goodness I have a really great sense of direction because if you were one of those people who could not retrace your steps, you would be there for days. Somewhere near frozen foods I feel myself being followed. I look directly at the man and it is Mr. Song. It took me a minute to figure that out since I just met the man and frankly I am still the stupid American who thinks most Chinese men look extremely similar. About the time I started to wonder how the heck he found us, someone else stops mid-aisle to take a picture of Tucker. Oh yeah...we are the aliens here. I am sure we are emitting some type of yellow glow and are easy to locate.

Thank goodness we do stand out because Mr. Song had taken the liberty of moving our van to right outside the WalMart doors on the parking garage level. What if he had been moving it when we retraced our steps and went back through the department store elevator to the parking garage? What if I lost him? I can not even let my brain go there. Are you wondering why didn't he park outside the store in the first place?(!??!)  Yeah, me too. However, I can not ask him because we don't. speak. the. same. language.

Ahhhhh...best part? I get to do it all again tomorrow (mingzao).

Looks like we made it

According to my VPN, I am in Los Angeles. Ahhhh, a girl can dream. I spent an insane amount of time during quiet time today setting up the computer, but I am actually typing with all the proper keystrokes now and not with one finger on my iPhone. Whoop!

Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to write me encouraging email notes. It has meant the world to me. I guess if nothing else China will teach me about who are the supportive ones in my life and who are merely just in it. I know my last blog was quite the downer, but I am trying to be legitimate  as to what this experience is like. I also want to publicly apologize to my baby brother who got to see the full on ugly cry when he Skyped with me yesterday. I could not help it. Sometimes the person you need to talk to calls at the very moment when you need them most. Hopefully our internet connection continues to work like it has today (up to now it has been spotty).

I am sitting in the window desk of our apartment wistfully feeling like Carrie Bradshaw character gone awry. The heat index has reached 100 and I don't think it is the hottest part of the day yet. I am drinking a Coke zero. Tucker is napping in our room and Hudson is reading books in their room. The boys are slowly working their way towards proper sleeping times. As always my biggest concern is how little Tucker is eating, but he is drinking like it is his job. At our breakfast we have a Tang-like juice and he chugs it. I think he drank 5 mini glasses this morning alone. Between that bananas and popcorn, he will be okay for awhile. Breakfast is nothing like the American breakfasts you dream about. There are 3 cereal options. Fruits. Custard. Random breads. Then porridge. The hot dishes are green beans or mixed vegetable, fried rice, pan fried noodles, and hard boiled eggs. And they have bacon. But it does not smell, taste, or even really resemble bacon, so I think that is false advertising. Yesterday they had "chicken colonel" (crazy overdone chicken nuggets) and today they had french fries.

So, it is Monday afternoon and my first full day alone. I felt it would be best that I get out and make myself go somewhere easy, so I went back to the local supermarket. It is two stories tall. The downstairs is the food and the upstairs is the housewares, clothes, etc. They don't accept our credit cards, so it is cash only. Kind of nerve wracking as I am not very good at adding up everything we are buying as I hold on to two kids. It is really crowded inside. Aisles are small and I had to keep Tucker in the stroller because he refused to sit in a shopping cart.

Our nearest grocery store. About a 10 minute walk. Spotted a "SlugBug" outside. 

The thing that is key here is: we are starred at all the time. And not like celebrity status staring. More like we have three heads kind of staring. So, when your youngest has his typical shitfit about getting into the shopping cart you are not quick to employ the same threatening tactics that you might use back home at Walnasty. Why not? Because everyone. is. watching. you. EVERYONE. We were coming down the escalator (no steps, rather a huge ramp like one...that was fun with a stroller) and this guy was staring at us and knocked over a whole display of watermelons.

Outside the store are women selling food as well. There are these green strangely shaped fruits we have seen around and one woman had those. Just like my friend, and former expat, Gwen, said, the woman was totally interested in giving Hudson and Tucker a sample. Hudson played along and they patted him on the head. So we bought those after she weighed a bag on a scale that was a stick and a metal plate. They cost 10 RMB and I was pretty happy I understood her sign language for 10.

Headed home from market. Stroller is loaded with drinks and food. Hudson even is carrying some on his back. No real sidewalks. And notice how the cars are parked on the curb.

Back home we have continued to unpack since all of our suitcases are now here. I did my first load of laundry. Wowza. I will miss my dryer! Right now, you should go and kiss yours. Our washer also has a drying feature, but it seems to steam the clothes. No one has a dryer here. Even those who have dedicated ones. They just do not work. Drying clothes for the next 5 months will be just another drop in the adventure bucket.

Crunchy clothes.

Alrighty, that is enough for now. We have made it to being able to publish updates more regularly. A computer and a Coke makes me feel more normal. The kids and I do lots of cuddling. We have played tons of games and decorated their room. These plastic flags (from Tucker's birthday celebration) weigh as much as a feather and have made their room much more like a home. The bed is as hard as a boxspring alone, but they have done really well sleeping together.

We do a lot of coloring because it adds some life to their sterile room.

Just keep breathing

Just keep breathing, I tell myself. Then I remember about the smog. Well, crap. My mantra yesterday (Sunday) was to just take it one step at a time. That proved to be just as hard as it could be. 

We walked to foreign fellowship leaving our apartment at 9:07 am. It was already hot. To get there we had to cross the major road out in front of our building which is under construction. Construction here is NOTHING like what you've ever seen before. First of all, they're building a double decker road. So there are cranes and diggers and equipment galore. Yet no "CAUTION there is a whole the size of a lawnmower" signs anywhere.  There are no yellow indicator signs of where to be or drive. Cars, scooters, buses, just dive in and out of the "scaffolding". To cross the street we walked a block or so through the parking lots near us. It is crazy the mix of businesses near us. Foot massage/car wash/convenience store-ish/Chinese food/hotels/unidenifiable operations all crammed into little teeny spaces. One clear business near us is Mr. Mai's Coffee Shop/foreign language club. It is exactly what it sounds like: a place for locals and university students to come to and practice their skills. It looks promising. (You can find it on FB) So we are walking, it is ungodly hot, the smog hazes the city skyline, and we get to cross the major intersection north of us: Dongfeng and North Checheng Road. 

Holy crap.

I won't describe it and for sensitive grandma readers, I won't, but Josh's quote literally was, "Now we are gonna take our lives in our own hands for a second"and when the ridiculously terrifying experience was over he said, "traffic isn't too bad  right now". Gah... However, once we crossed we had a very calm, quiet stroll. It was actually... Pretty. A little park like grove of trees. Flowers everywhere. Aside from the river of sweat flowing down my back, it was pleasant. Little man did a heck of a job. It took us 30 minutes and a bottle of water to get there, but we made it. 


Foreign fellowship is held in a conference room of the corporate building for Diamond Power. It is lightly air conditioned. The first person I saw was wearing an Ohio U green tshirt. (Awesome!) As the group of 40 to 50 people gathered one resounding thing stood out: people were so nice. Like Mary Poppins nice. Not just smiling, but welcoming. Introducing themselves. My "membership chair" self was overwhelmed. The entire room looked like home. A mix of races and ages (definitely not all white, although the Asians must be foreign because Chinese people can not attend church from what I gather). And so. Many. Younger. Couples. And most with two blond children. 


The kids, who had been up since 4 am, were starting to fade. Both hung on us in the hot room like full body fat suits. The singing began. Just voices and a guitar. I sang but was soon crying (definitely more on the inside than out). In my head flashed every vision of the past 36 hours and my tired brain started to melt. 


I came to China for very specific personal reasons. Among them...to step away from an American life consumed by things that take me away from being a more in tuned, more present parent to my kids. You know what I'm saying I hope. Be more patient. Be less stressed with the daily to do list....

Yet since we have been in China I have been a shining example of the worst mother. I snap at Hudson. I'm over anxious about everything. I'm fearful for their every step that is out of my control. And even those we take together across the street! All those things do not make for a good parent. If I can not get myself together, I'm leaving here pronto. 


While singing, I silently I'll give myself a week and if it is not better I'm out of here. 



But the songs get in. To me. To my heart. I felt very called to come here. It was not some rash, this-will-be-super-cool-and-nothing-else decision. Where is my patience? Where is my faith? 

Following the six or so songs, I take the boys back with the other eleven or so kids (under the age of 5) to the little ones' class (in another VERY air conditioned) conference room.  The teacher was amazing. Like Harry Wong (famous teaching pedagogy author) would write a book about her lesson. She taught the kids bible songs. Old stuff I have not sung in 35 years. She did the most awesome object lesson on the parable on forgiveness. And then she had to leave. Emergency call from her husband who was with her sick kids. Would I and this mother named Rebecca do the craft and snack? Um, sure. 

Rebecca is from Texas and like many others at the fellowship she is here because if the international school. After our work is done and the kids had free play time, she offers to take me grocery/necessity shopping at WanDa shopping center this afternoon. Would I like that? 
I burst into tears. 

Walking out of foreign fellowship was as emotionally overwhelming as leaving our home church last Sunday. What seemed like everyone stopped us to give us the offer of their driver, their extra cellphone, a meal, to help with this transition. People looked at me intently and said nodding, "yep, I remember my first week here."  One mother of two named Amy handed me a paper with her phone number and email on it and said, "Going to China [to live] is like childbirth: you read about it, you talk to friends, but nothing can prepare you for it."

AMEN. 

We took a sweet lady from Ecuador's offer to go with us to the other side of the block and try to get money. (Easier said than done) Our second bank was a success! We have money!!! We can buy stuff! We can eat! And her offer included getting us with her via taxi to the (very American) Aloha Cafe for lunch. I'm dying to try more local cuisine, but Tucker has eaten so little up to this point, I want him to get something he will enjoy. 


The taxi ride was ... I'll just edit myself and say that to only focus on those seconds where we were left of the double yellow heading straight towards that bus would be a disservice to the rest of the 10 minute ride which was equally terrifying. But it cost us 12 RMB ($2) and took us to the very quiet French street shopping area which looks calm and promising. Lunch was so great. Tucker sucked down a chocolate milkshake, huge grilled chicken breast, and fries like a true American. I am so grateful. Mr. Mai himself sat next to me in our group of 15 from church. The cinematic feature  ET is showing at the coffeehouse tomorrow. They have kids programming each Saturday. And I get all the free tea and coffee I can ingest if I walk the 2 second jaunt from our apartment to voluntarily sit and speak English to all the locals. We left with full stomachs and love tanks. :) 

The rest of the day was shopping (for me) and naps (for all the boys). 

I know several of you have told me you envied this opportunity. Fair enough. But remember we are not tourists here. I'm not just walking the Great Wall of China and feasting on eggrolls all day. I'm breathing in the smog with the adventure. Culture shock does not even describe it. 

Mr. Mai, real name David, unsolicited advice told me that I need to give it 30 days. (Did I have "I'm outta here" plastered on my face???) China is not for the faint of heart. Your hungry but don't know how to order. Your scared but don't know what is safe. 


You have to be patient to hear God. So I will try. 

Written Monday, July something 
1:30-3:19 a.m. Wuhan, China

Storm after the storm

Pardon me for I'm operating on little sleep. I don't think it would be best to blog today as I am pretty stinking overwhelmed with our life here; however, I get the genuine since that if I don't write soon I will never blog because I already feel overwhelmed as to where to start. Even the adventure it took to travel the 7000 miles here, while just yesterday (!) seems like a lifetime ago.

Where to start...(pregnant pause, perhaps I fell asleep midthought)

Genuinely I find it difficult to relate what it is like here by just telling you about insane, erratic driving where "lanes" are just a suggestion and lights-- even in TOTAL darkness are optional or about this culture where snakes, turtles, and fish in tanks at the restaurant are commonplace.

Let me paint you a picture like this:
Did you ever have a dream where you went to middle school where everyone spoke a different language and you must have a third eye or something because the whole world stared at you?
Or did you ever find yourself in a place with countless new smells which feels like a crowded NYC street with store after store is selling something but you have no idea what because you don't read the language of every sign? I mean really, you are walking down the street and unless you see bread in the window you seriously have NO CLUE what is going on inside?
To summarize: There is just too much sensory stimulation and nothing is familiar. Nothing. This Food Network & Top Chef junkie had to open the apartment guidebook to turn.on. the. stove.

Today we went for a two hour walk around our neighborhood and it was probably the most surreal experience of my life. The whole time I thought I was in a dream but knew very well that I was not. It is hot. Like they weren't kidding about the "dirty sauna" references. People stare at us. Blatantly. Constantly. From upstairs windows as we walk on the street below. From right in front of us on the street.
We walked in and out of a handful of shops. Our apartment is so sterile (think IKEA without any fun character) I'm happy to see a flower shop nearby. Three bakeries within three blocks. Fruit stand where we bought a batch of bananas, an orange, lemons, peaches for 19 RMB ($3). Aside from the casual "bye bye" there is NO English spoken.
Then we went to the pool in our building. It is gorgeous! But the tiles around it are slick. So there was that drama. It was also pretty stinking cold.

And yet... Everyone seems nice. They love the boys. They do smile. There is an  intrigue to exactly why that woman is peeling those potato-like things in the street. Or the laundry drying on the rack, well, everywhere. Our apartment building is very nice. They know us already at the front desk (duh). Breakfast is free, daily, and plentiful. *Sigh.*

It was a hard day. We are all sleep deprived. Ridiculously off our clocks. Missing a pantry of snacks (the only shopping we did today was a quick breeze through the local supermarket. Being Saturday or being China, it was straight up crazy. We bought oil to make popcorn, drinks, ice cream bars for kids to eat as we walked, and that is all. 91 RMB ($15)The kids are out of sorts. Cranky. Acting out. Screaming. So-- please keep the prayers up. We need them. We need to adjust. We need it to be less stormy and calm down.


10:14 pm Saturday, July 26.
Wuhan, CHINA

Circle of life

Soon after we decided to move to China, I remarked on the irony that a girl who got a Chinese character tattoo at age 19 would spend age 39 trying to find a way to conceal it while living in China. Maybe it is ironic or maybe it is just another example of how all things in my life come full circle.

There is an uncanny way that my life comes back to somewhere it once was. After all, I married a high school friend 11 years after we met. Or the fact that my boss when editing photography books was one of my former students. Or the reality that I set up my married life in a little town that housed one of my greatest failure as an adult. Things I used to mock are now causes of great joy. And I could go on... I do my best not to burn bridges because who knows when I will need to cross them again.

So today I move to  China. Who knew? Maybe I should have.  All of my experiences, successes, failures, and shortcomings are never farther away than tomorrow.

Twenty years ago I opted for a Chinese character that meant strength. The strength that I will need to secure a happy life in China surely will have little to do with overcoming a fear of needles-- as was the motivation for the tattoo to  begin with-- rather it is a strength of adjusting to the inevitable changes life brings. It is strength in trusting in God. It is the strength in trusting in my own ability to zealously embrace the craziness that resides over the next hill. It is a strength that has been culled in me over my entire life.

The irony is I never needed that tattoo. I believe I've had the strength all along.

We will just have to wait and see.

Luggage.

Pardon me if when I see you at the supermarket today I do not say goodbye.

I am over goodbyes.


OVER THEM.

As far as I can tell I have had the most appropriate goodbye with each of you since I learned-- five months ago tomorrow ---China was something more than a place halfway around the world.

Goodbyes are emotionally exhausting. Yeah, you are emotionally exhausted? You had to say goodbye to me? Well, I had to say goodbye to everyone. I. know. 

Wow. That sounded dramatic. Maybe Hudson does get that from me… anyway, it is a bit dramatic. And I was going to write a blog about all the stuff that I am packing.

You know that I have a well-documented list typed out. Of course, I do.

My living room is now just renamed Luggage Room for that is where the tower of suitcases sways. Eight suitcases. Four backpacks. Two small rolling carryons. Two car seats. Two kids. A stroller. A pair of parents that look a little excited/nervous/overwhelmed/anxious/shifty like most people who are from Logansport, Indiana, do. {wink}

I was going to share with you the list of all that is in those suitcases so you could see the things we have thought of. How prepared we are. But that is just a laugh. It is just a bunch of stuff to make us feel more at home. More like us. The way that your favorite sweatshirt can. It is a lot of sweatshirts!

But there is even more.

You see-- in addition to all the luggage you see sitting in that living room, there is more. I am carrying you to China with me. The love. The late night texts. The support. The emails. The party you came to or threw for us before we left. The glass(es) of wine we have shared where you have listened to me rant about this reality. I am taking all that with me to China.

See you soon.

What it is like being me.

The question I seem to be asked the most lately is "What do you think your life will be like there [in China]?" and naturally I, like those asking the question, can only guess as to what lies ahead for our days away. Naturally all this talk about the unknown has made me pay a whole bunch more attention to the present.

My life is either desperately, nervously quiet or very loud. Hummming noises come from either the family room or a kid's bed room. The boys spend the majority of their time arguing over toys. I play music most everyday. {Spotify} My eclectic mix of Bill Conti, David Lanz, and rock songs old and new adjust themselves to act as a soundtrack to my life.

I worry about how Tucker never eats and I never stop eating. The dishwasher constantly needs loaded and laundry reproduces in the closets, I swear. No longer do I subscribe to magazines. I just do not have time to read them.

Daily I feel peppered with questions about why I am doing every. single. thing. Taking the kids shopping is extra verbal these days as Hudson has figured out that there are choices for about every product they make. Those items I opt to buy require extensive justification. Unless they are cookies, which are just met with applause. Why I decide to eat, work, fold laundry, breathe, and so on are daily conversations. Frequently I think he is just trying to fill the space between us with chatter versus actual care and concern. Like most males, he usually does not listen beyond my first few words. Hudson asked me why I was going to the bathroom yesterday and I screamed. Loudly.

Half of all weeknights I meet my husband at the door headed to a church meeting/photography session/dinner with friends. My social life does not start until after nap time. Any personal property is subject too acting as the hand towel/Kleenex for the kids. All my sunglasses are scratched.

Most mornings I wake up to the sound of Josh in the shower. Or a blond in my ear will say, "Mama, it is seven zero zero." I find this all precious and far to early. My favorite material thing in the world is my bed. I actually get weepy thinking of how much I will miss it. 

Tucker is starting to narrate his car play with words like "actually" and "awesome".

While driving last week we talked about aerodynamics. At dinner outside, Little Man and Josh started discussing condensation. Just when I feel like this is all too fast, too mature, Hudson will tell me about his most recent Angry Birds adventure with the enthusiasm of a reality star and I will rest assured, he really still is a little guy. My backseat is a happy place full of "Wheels on the Bus" songs and Knock Knock jokes. 

I brush other people's teeth. And wrestle people a quarter my size just to cut their fingernails. I can change diapers who are standing. And running away from me. It is hard to rock to sleep little boys who cover your lap and are nearly 3 feet tall, but I still figure it out. 

Most evenings are family time. We wrestle on the living room floor. And go for walks or bike rides. We love our backyard and those who appear in it. After bed, I frequently work for a while before meeting my husband for a Wonder Years episode. He too is working usually with some British car show on as background noise and distraction. 

I grocery shop and do laundry once a week.  Both are huge productions, but manageable. I cook three meals a day almost every single day. My kitchen is heaven with crumbs and play dough sprinkled over it. My life is ruled by the family calendar on the refrigerator and my work planner.

This is my American life. As the responsibilities of clubs, social groups, church, and work have lightened over the past two weeks, life has actually gotten a lot better despite the stress. I have realized how much I am looking forward to going to China where my life will be all about focusing on my family. I think we all get too guilty of filling up our time with the unnecessary. Suddenly an apartment of less than 900 square feet sounds like more my size.

RollerBaby

Yes, I hope one of my kids plays tennis. And likes to read nonfiction. And is obsessed with the Kennedy Assassination. But if I can not get any other that, I will settle with a kid who loves to ride roller coasters.

After years of patiently waiting, Hudson hit 44 inches this spring and we hit Kings Island on last Monday. With fellow friend and 44 inch tall Carsten and his mama Jill, the four of us had the most amazing day.

Yes, the boy loves the coasters! Whoop! He anxiously looked towards those rides he will be able to enjoy when he hits 46 inches and then 48 inches and 54 inches. Absolutely, we can not wait! We rode the water log ride and all of the super cool thrill rides at least three times each.

Carsten and Hudson fight pretty much like brothers. But they always have a good time together. I looked up their first playdate and found pictures click here.

Awesome! Maybe we will visit Happy Valley in China and try our luck at their version of fun!

He is THREE.

As I was getting Tucker out of the shopping cart last week, he hugged be back. Tightly. Deliberately. And said, "You are my Mama." It was enough to cause me to cry in the middle of a parking lot. It was also the best part of my entire week.

Putting on sunglasses is harder than you might think!

As we know, time continues to march on and in the midst of our madness, Tucker has had his third birthday. He is changing very fast. Considering how worried I was a year ago about where he was on the spectrum with speech and occupational skills, right now I feel like he is exactly where I would like him to be... and to stay. He is just really fantastic. He loves to run and being chased is definitely one of his favorite activities. While he is still not the kind of kid you will find climbing up your countertops or getting themselves stuck in a tree, when he is in a place where he feels comfortable, he is more willing to try new things. I think that he will be swimming on his own sooner than his brother. His speech is clear and very cute. He will over enunciate most words. So after his fake belches and real toots, he will say, "Ex-cUse Me."

Of course he is still obsessed with Cars (Pixar specific), but his interests have broadened to Planes (yes, Pixar too). Every single character is a friend to him. He knows all their names. He also loves IndyCar racing. In a pinch he will settle playing with anything his brother already was playing with. 

My biggest stress with him these days is how little he eats. He is about 10 inches shorter than Hudson, but just light as a feather. He would survive on popcorn and ice cream if allowed. The McDonald's logo is sure to elicit a shout of "SpriteandaCoke" from the backseat. He will watch America's Test Kitchen with me and say "Yum" but I am sure he will still never eat any of it. Most of the time at the dinner table he wants to pseudo-sword fight with his spoon. I don't know any other kid his age that knows what "en garde" means!

He is not sure about big dogs, but as my friend pointed out, the head of a tall dog is taller than Tucker's, so it is kinda like us walking around with horses. 

At night he always asks me to sing a couple of songs. And while I do think he loves music, he is probably just trying to delay going to bed. He also loves to be read to. It is pretty common to find him reading to himself.

He absolutely HATES having his fingernails and toenails cut. Or having people touch his toys. Or getting told no. Or talking about being potty trained. 

I would describe him as independent and tenacious, opinionated and cuddly, ornery and funny. I don't think that he could be any prettier. His head full of curls stop strangers. I adore his perfect nose. I hope that as he begins to be understood by more people, his little personality will also entertain them. For being just three, he knows several great KnockKnock jokes.

He does not always say no. He likes to make an "eeee-awww!" donkey-ish sound to express his lack of favor with your request.

I think that three was my favorite age with Hudson, so I am really looking forward to this year!

State of the (Marital) Union

So, Josh says that I need to write some new blogs, and frankly I am so overwhelmed about where to begin--and yet as time moves rapidly closer to Move to China day I know that I am in a better place than I was.

Our lives are very consumed with the logistics of our move, our jobs, all of our responsibilities with two little men, and the social and church groups we lead and participate in. Over the past couple of weeks responsibilities have fallen off and the same rate the pile to pack has grown. We are almost ready to be on to our adventure. And it has felt very freeing to get back to the single most important roles of my world: wife and mother.

 Mr. Harris and I have had a set of back to back crazy months here lately. And luckily we had the opportunity to do the number one thing we need to do in marriage: take a minute to intentionally pay attention to just each other. We have now successfully achieved 10 years of marriage and we celebrated with a nice long vacation to Alaska alone. We were able to totally get reconnected with each other.

Turns out we still like each other. Cool.