Sunday, November 30, 2014

Give it up

Not everyone reads blogs. And definitely not everyone would want to write one. Even if you have the ability/time/inclination to sit down and open up your life for your closest friends and random strangers to read, there are definitely moments when you might sit and ponder (for too long) topics that probably are best not shared in this very public, and potentially permanent very form. Assuming that we are actually acquaintances and you are not some random person my mom badgered into reading this blog, you already know that self-censorship is not my strong suit. 



But this is a blog. It is not my every thought. It is definitely a representation of the things I have chosen to record for my kids to know. That disclaimer shared, if you wish to buy me a cocktail once I return to the States and want to hear a funny story-- or perhaps a really embarrassing one, here would be a good starting point:

The Things about China I did not Blog About:

-the Auspicious Magic Finger Massage (do I have your attention yet? ha ha)
-Squatty Potties
-Spud
-Berrating that grandma at Disneyland
-IKEA trip
-the Cummins Olympics
-That time I took a knife on the plane
-That time I took a slingshot on the plane
-China Rage
-Crying in China
-"That's Not My Grandma" Game
-Chinglish
-Shirts of Josh's co-workers
-Knees jer tang
-Upside Down Idiocy
-Duck Neck in my pocket




Friday, November 28, 2014

Just a walk in the park


Our weather has been wonderful lately. And by weather, I mean the real weather, not the "weather" the Chinese use to describe the smog. All of last week was fantastic, so we played outside as much as possible.


I could almost feel bad that we were having such great fall weather when everyone back home was freezing their bums off, but after suffering through the inferno we had July through September, I'd say we are even-steven. Sunday we left for Shanghai (posts about that visit coming soon!) and the AQI was 444 in Wuhan. That is the highest reading we have seen yet. I was really glad that we were leaving town. (500 on AQI is basically the worst air reading that exists. 200 is considered "Very Unhealthy". Normally we are around 140.)


We even returned to the only park on our side of town. Four months ago we were sweating at 9 a.m., but this visit was lovely, even later in the day. Turns out, if you can see through the smog, China has something to offer! The boys enjoyed getting the chance to burn off some energy.


I also drove for the first time in four months! This little red go-getter was getting passed by people leisurely peddling their bikes, but it made for some hilarious memories. Holly and I took the boys to the local botanical garden. Those once-gorgeous lotus plants are all dead and ready for winter. But we were able to see awesome displays of roses and mums.


 And there was an entire forrest of bamboo.

Really glad we have had a stretch of nice easy days. Just a month left. Just a walk in the park.



Friday, November 21, 2014

Funny Friday

Per the request of those who do not have Instagram. Here is what happens when I make the boys hold hands after fighting. It captures the differences in their personalities perfectly.


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Art




I took the boys to the Art Museum. It sounded like a good idea and perhaps a segue into a whole slew of Christmas art projects I am hoping to do over the coming weeks. I figure if we are not going to be home for Christmas, then we will go above and beyond to make everything feel Christmas-y. Anyway, when the AQI is hitting 200 and everything feels nasty and bleak, you've gotta figure out something worthwhile to do. Something that is inside and does not involve a shopping mall.  (I could shop at fresh markets ALL DAY EVERY DAY, but the kids are OVER those. The last fresh market I took them to had gerbils, rabbits, guinea pigs {all alive thank God} and that was my saving grace for getting them to cooperate. Of course, there were the twenty-five billion questions firing out of Hudson's mouth with regards to what those creatures were doing there, but I avoided those as best as I was able. The kids is convinced he is getting a rabbit for Christmas, BTW. Okay, I digress....)

Anyway, art museum: it was pretty boring. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. There were some large installations like this piece:

And thankfully, Hudson paid no attention to one thing that seemed a bit overemphasized, if you ask me. I guess the artist had a pretty high opinion of himself.

The boys liked this "house". But about 10 seconds after seeing it Tucker started saying, "I wanna go to Poppa Bear's house" repeatedly. (Poppa Bear's house has Lincoln Logs which he loves to play with!) I was impressed with his memory!



There was this horrible moment too. Immediately Hudson asked if we could try this when we got home. Um, no.

It was not all bad, I really liked this one. Carving in stone is cool.



The past five days have been really long. Josh is in Japan and I have been 100% parent, 100% of the time. When I am completely alone, I find that I do not even rest well because it is like I know that if something goes wrong in the middle of the night, I am on my own to deal with it, so I never totally relax. Not to mention, there is just the general concern for Josh's welfare that keeps me distracted. He is fully capable, but the guy does not typically travel without his personal assistant (me) who has already done all the leg work on how to navigate the subway, researched seventeen different ways to reach the hotel, planned on how/where to exchange for new currency, and maybe even packed his suitcase. Rest assured he has done perfectly well without me. (Boo.) Meanwhile, I did not accomplish all of the things I wanted to when he was gone, but I did figure out how get some rest at night (light on, door rigged) and I made sure we did make the mile walk to church (on time even!) on Sunday. It is really hard to be the one answering every question. Giving every bath. Reading every book. Preparing, cleaning, organizing every meal.
Sorry, Picasso. This is my kind of art.
At a playdate today I had a woman tell me she *thought* I must have been an elementary school teacher because I was so good with my kids. I nearly choked on my Chinese dumplings. Parenting continues to make me feel like a total failure. Like I have no idea. every day. what the heck I am doing. 
I constantly feel like I am having this out of body experience where I hear myself parenting and I am like, "What the heck did I just say?"

Does anyone else feel like this?

(BTW, thank you all for thinking the Instagram post of the boys holding hands as a punishment for fighting was funny. I am still sure I am going straight to Parenting Purgatory for that one.)

So, if someone thinks that you have it all together, are they right or wrong OR is parenting just subjective like art? 

Like art, parenting is expressive and personal. Some people will see your style and like it. Others will question your technique. We've all seen the results of someone's parenting and thought "Well, that is just screwed up!" and we have also probably said out loud at some point to someone, "Your parents raised you right!" Can you be doing it right and not know it? Or probably more importantly, how do you know that you are doing it wrong before it is too late

Clearly my boys are two totally different people. They are motivated differently, the react to situations differently, they value different things, and so what works for one does not work for the other. Collectively they just raised the parenting bar. Being effective will require distinct artistry. 


My favorite kind of art. Part Deux.

I guess I will just have to work on making sure I have the right tools for the job. Anyway, we left the art museum pretty quickly. It was not my style. So, we ditched the place and headed to the shopping mall. At least there they have some (explainable) things that we like to look at, like cheap clothes, awesome $1 bowls of Wuhan noodles, and fun little vistas like this:

Hudson and Holly watching me.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Find your focus

My first couple weeks in China were singlehandedly some of the worst days of my life. There were endless struggles. A lot of frustration. Constant fear. I was pretty sure that I was not cut out to deal with keeping my kids safe in such a foreign place. 



Aside from the wicked heat, which definitely was a factor, not much has changed in the past 16 weeks. Until all 10 million people in Wuhan have stopped to gawk at us, that factor will remain constant. Cars, taxis, and buses continue to try to run my kids and I over. And disregard most traffic laws. Communicating with our driver, Song, is always extremely difficult. People daily spit and pee on the street. Touch me in stores. Go through my shopping cart. Laugh when my kids squeal. Honk all. the. time. Don't speak my language. Don't seem to understand me when I speak theirs. Smoke everywhere. There are regularly man-eating (or child-eating) holes in the streets and sidewalks. Everywhere is filthy and smelly. Having to go the bathroom in a public place is horrid. I can count the number of blue skies I have seen on one hand. I miss luxury food items like cow's milk, beef, and eggs from the store without poop on them. I am still over 7,000 miles from my friends and family.

But I do not focus on any of that anymore. I am not overwhelmed. I have figured out how to back from all the chaos and noise and look at it a different way. I don't spite/fear/dislike/stress about China anymore. There is good here. And good has emerged from me living here.

This has to be the simplest thing to translate to everyday life, but few of us can do it. For years my favorite quote has been, “We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” (Carlos Castanda)

I suppose favorite quotes are only valuable if they actually alter into the way in which you live your life. So stop being miserable. It is a choice.

Friday, November 7, 2014

A dragon and a tiger had a rat and a monkey

I don't read my horoscope or have my cards read each morning before getting outta bed, but I currently live in a country where the animal in which you were born is highly believed to represent your personality. Visiting the Great Wall of China last Friday, I remembered that I had taken our previous trip (to another vista). So, just for fun on this Friday, here we are:

Josh is a dragon, the most vital and powerful of any of the Chinese zodiac. Naturally, this fits him to a T.


I am a tiger through and through. And if you are curious how dead accurate my personality is aligned to my birth sign, you can read that here. I am a wood tiger specifically based on the element associated with my birth year. For better and for worse, I am aware this description captures my disposition.

We were in San Francisco's Chinatown in April of 2008 when I figured out that I was pregnant with a rat. I have not read up on Hudson's personality profile because I am too busy living with it. Perhaps they make a book about how to live with a 110 cm tall, fast-talking, sassy thinking rat.

And my little rabbit was not so sure about the photography request on this day. I believe that he is an introvert by nature and we will just have to see how that plays itself out being surrounded by extroverted parents!

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Foodstuffs

Understatement of the year: We love Chinese food. And now that we have had the awesome authentic, cheap stuff nearly every day for 15 weeks, make no mistake, it will be one thing we truly miss when we leave.

Over the next couple weeks, I am working to try and cook more Chinese food simply to practice some of the techniques I have seen in a vain effort to be able to try and recreate some of the dishes that we have had with our friends and family back home. I do not underestimate how hard of a task this will be. Foremost, because there are some ingredients which might be hard to find. Flavors here are very specific.

While I can take really beautiful images of ingredients up close, like this:


You should probably know that when I am buying ingredients, it looks more like this:

Not exactly what you expected, right? Each market and vendor presents their options in different ways. Above you have walnuts on the left, then mushrooms (dried, of course), and then dried red peppers. Those peppers are in just about every dish that I like, so I am worried that they will be harder to find in Indiana.

Replicating cooking techniques could also present a problem. I can have a wok, but whether I have the right size one for the job and/or the ability to heat up that baby to the temperatures used here might be troublesome. Street vendors, like the one pictured below, continue to fascinate me. Just today, we drove up to Hankou (northern part of Wuhan) and on the way home stopped at my newest favorite food stall for a bowl of awesome noodles.  Nine RMB for a bowl of tasty, spicy noodles cooked right in front of you in about 3 minutes.


This is one of my favorite breakfast foods from street markets. It is rice with egg and tofu, sold by the square. Hudson gobbles this one up too. I am sure you don't *have* to have a wok that big, but ...



I can not allow a food blog to pass and I not mention this fried bread once again. It is the bomb. It is sold by total weight, so you can get any quantity that you wish. I buy a bagful which is 10 RMB and the kids and I can eat until we are just stuffed. The husband/wife team that operate this foodstall start cutting it when they see me coming; check out that knife!

When we go out to eat, it is always an adventure. When we are part of a tour, or an organized dinner, or have a more seasoned China veteran with us, the ordering is done by them. Here is an example of some dishes from our trip with the Citadines to the orange picking island. These dishes represent very local and traditional food for the Yangtze River valley.
This first one is pork belly wrapped in a lotus leaf which was described perfectly in the book I just read, The Last Chinese Chef.

This is a tofu dish with mild spice. (Can we just note my biggest pet peeve about Chinese restaurants which is pictured here? Plastic wrapped covered tables. Ew. Ew. Ew.)

Garlic finds itself into most dishes. At our local grocery store, I get frustrated because I can only buy big bag when I really only need a couple heads. But that big bag is 6 RMB or $1 USD, so it is silly to complain; I just hate being wasteful! This dish has garlic, pork fat, soybean paste, and peppers.

Much to my husband's dismay, this is how fish is served in China. While it looks appetizing for all, we just can not serve this to the kids. Bones are present throughout. Chinese people are masters of eating this quickly and getting the bones out, but I always feel like I am a total mess when I try, so I have given up on dishes like this one.


As pictured previously, Tucker gobbled up these whole fish bones and all without flinching. To be fair, they tasted like fried oil and nothing more.


Going to restaurants we are usually picking blind the first time. Then when we return we get the dishes that we liked along with something new. We ordered this dish --or more correctly, our friends ordered it for us-- our very first Sunday lunch after church three months ago. We get it every time we visit this place. Like most dishes, if I tell you the list of ingredients it does not sound appetizing, but together (with the sauce) it is fantastic.


I am not crazy about this dish, but Josh likes it and it can be found on most menus: I'd call it scrambled eggs and tomato.


The hours of preparation starts early in the morning. As early as 8 a.m. I will see the restaurants around our apartment beginning to prepare the cut vegetables for the dishes of the day. In back alleys and outside their front doors, owners are scrubbing and cleaning and sorting. At the market they are buying huge quantities and pushing their purchases away in huge bags on two wheel carts. While some food stalls cut to order, most have a good quantity of staples like carrot, cucumber, peppers (red, green, hot, mild), onion (white and green), cabbage, garlic and ginger already chopped and diced. Restaurants have their prepared vegetables separated in huge pastel colored plastic bins. When recreating dishes at home, it takes me far more time to prep than actually cook.



Desserts are a rarity. Most menus don't really list them separately, but dishes like this are sugary enough to qualify. Caramelized sweet potatoes, bananas, and other staples are a sweet end to a meal and FUN to play with as they are served ridiculously hot. However, order them at the beginning of your meal because often you will find the hostess/waitress/cook (which are often the same person) running out to the closest market mid-meal to pick up missing the produce ingredient!


This is more my style for dessert anyway! Lotus "fries" whipped up with (obviously) a ton of chopped dried red peppers. But the surprise here is that this dish is also sugared, so it is ridiculously sweet too. Sweet and spicy lotus fries: what is not to love?!?!

Previous food blog found here.





Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Part II: Field Trip


Tucker has blossomed socially over the past few months. He is quick to find friends his own size when the opportunity presents itself. On our boat ride back from the Mandarin orange picking island, he found a pair of kids to "talk" with. Naturally, the eclectic trio caught the attention of everyone on the boat's upper deck. The little girl and Tucker played with each other by mirroring the hand gestures of the other. Then the little boy just rambled on to T in Chinese and he looked up at me perplexed. Then the little boy loudly said, "Ting bu dong" (meaning you don't understand) and everyone laughed.

I just assumed that once we crossed back over the lake we would leave. It was a happy surprise that we were within walking distance of a little interactive village and temple. I will save you from some of my very favorite "touristy" pictures from our time with just a handful of ones with us in them (for the most part). It was a fantastic free day. 
Ring three times making a wish.

Too bad. I really like this one.


Holly and I working the China ware.




Monday, November 3, 2014

Mandarin Orange Pickin'

A couple weekends ago our apartment'hotel had a free field trip for the long term residents of the building. We were excited to see what our day would have in store for us.  Like all other outings in China, it was an adventure!
We started out our day with an hour bus ride that did not disappoint. At one moment in a teeny village's one-lane road, we went from 40 mph to 0 as we met an oncoming bus. I took this shot out my open window. The driver of the other bus and I could have high-fived!

The first half of the day featured a boat trip to a small island where we would be able to mandarin orange pick, have lunch, and enjoy the free park-like activities. Upon arrival, the signs did their best to tell us that we would not have a fun time. These just crack me up!


This was the same weekend that it seemed like everyone back home was at the apple orchard in flannel and knit hats picking fruit and getting their Halloween pumpkins. We were seven thousand miles away in shorts sweating and picking citrus fruit...crazy!

The island provided for a very enjoyable afternoon. The boys loved orange picking.

Although, oranges are harder to spot than you would think. Like we had seen previously at our local market, the oranges are predominately green. But the fruit inside was perfect. I bet Tucker ate six oranges alone before lunch.

Lunch was a very nice parade of dishes that we would never had ordered had we had the choice. It is a great way to try new things though! Tucker ate some whole fish and Josh shot himself in the eye trying to open a beer on the edge of the table.
Then there is this picture which is now a legend in its own time (within our family) of Tucker eating a whole fish:




After lunch we wandered around for about an hour listening to people sing karaoke, play in the "sand" of the "beach" and try their balance at a variety of activities like this one. This was an obstacle course of sorts, where failing would land you in a lake of dirty water. It is hard convincing the boys --especially my kids who are less than sure-footed-- that this is probably not their best laid plan.

The boat ride back was gorgeous. Or as gorgeous as it gets around these parts. This is a boat just like ours headed to pick people on the island up.


Never miss an opportunity for someone else to take a picture of the four of us!