Self-portrait: October

Non-talker

There are not many words that accurately describe how you feel when you worry whether your child is  hitting the milestones they should be with their development. I suppose helpless is the most true, but it does little to feel like it surmises how I really feel.

While I assume I will always remember how I am feeling right now, I know that is not true. So, just for transparency for my older self who is reading this one day many moons from now, I will back up just a bit.

I was not concerned when Tucker was not talking in full sentences, with clarity, or even using sign language when he was 18 months. Yes, I remember reading back in older posts of this very blog and seeing the things his older brother had said and done and I was amazed. But I recognize Hudson is probably an exception. Or --at least exceptional --for a little boy. His vocabulary is so broad. Every teacher has said so. And Hudson talks enough for all of us. So, why would Tucker bother trying to get a word in edgewise?

Then we hit his 2 year appointment and there was the milestone chart. I think he was to be saying 18 different words by that point. And I felt that yes, if I counted animal sounds which are substitution for actual names like dog and cat, I could say that he said that many.

But it was already on my heart and my radar to be stressed about whether we had an issue on our hands. I vowed at his 30 month appointment to address it with the doctor. And here we are at 27 months and I have already researched the qualifications for First Steps Speech Therapy, etc. The ENT that we saw with Hudson a couple weeks ago gently suggested that before we pursue any type of therapy we have his hearing checked. And that appointment is today. In about 1 hour. And I have not slept much this week.

{Sigh.}

Earlier today we went with my best buddy Lois to run around and do errands. Lois is 75 and a great joy to all of our lives. In Target, in the art supply/calendar aisle Tucker said, "I lub ewe Lolo!" I about died. Of achievement. Then of jealousy. He strung a whole bunch of words together! I am so happy!

Oh, she really rubbed it in too. He said it again and then again at lunch. So, upon reaching home, I said can you say "I love you Mama"? and he did.

That will get me through the hearing test. And the next milestone made or not made. Stress sugarcoated with achievement. That is pretty much my life lately.

10 things I am doing instead of blogging

10. WORK. Everyone wants pictures this month. So I drive, shoot, edit, order, bank, post office,repeat.

9. DOCTOR. Hudson is definitely having surgery in less than 2 weeks.

8. PLAYING. This guy makes me laugh. He really sucks at Hide and Seek too.

Where am I?!?

7. MEETINGS. I am serving as VP of the CWF women's group, co-pres of my own church group WinGS, and on the church's pulpit search committee.

6. DANCING. Josh and I are taking dancing classes! We are horrible!

5. CUDDLING. Tucker is almost too big for my lap. He gets rocked any time he wants.

4. EXERCISE. I don't do this much as I should, but I have to figure out a way to fit into a nearly strapless bridesmaid dress for my best sister's wedding this winter. Kill me now.

3. TRAVELING. We have taken short trips to see the kids' great grandparents in the past month.

Clabber Girl Museum

2. TEACHING. Turns out, people want me to teach them still. I am offering adult photography classes. The first one filled up in a day. This is exciting!

1. LIFE. I also figure out time to squeeze in grocery shopping, laundry, cooking dinners, church, hanging with my Joshie, and a couple hours of sleep.

The grocery shopping trip ends when I run
out of room and Hudson can no longer feel his feet.

Note how I never mentioned cleaning my house! Oh well!

Pumpkin Patch Commentary

Monkey see. Monkey do.

It is hard to photograph someone who is always talking. This is in between words.

Same scarecrow 5 years running. We miss our friends who usually are in these pictures with us.

Hi, I'm gorgeous. And a stinker.

He came up with this "pose" himself.

Always trying to be bigger.

Well established farmer's blood. He looks right at home in a tractor.

Love his eyes. Just like his daddy's.

The beginning of... how far can I get from you people?

"No, I will not be in a picture with my big brother. I will, however, pout over Here."

Photos by myself, though, are completely acceptable.

Report card

Hudson has been receiving these monthly progress reports on his readiness for kindergarten. I guess counting to 100 without error is on the list. This is definitely one of those parenting moments where I have to just shut my mouth because I know he can count to 100, but he has to do it in front of his teacher for it to "matter." The first month (September) he got to 20.

Okay, no problem. He will be a puppet and do it correctly.

This month he got to 40. However, the comment made by his teacher on the progress report define him PERFECTLY. If you know Hudson at all, you will know how totally freaking hilarious and accurate this is to his personality.

Married with Children

Somewhere along Columbus Drive in Chicago walking to Sunday's Bears game I spied the giant spray of the Buckingham Fountain above the trees. You know the one iconically burned into our brains from all those episodes of Married with Children we never told anyone we watched? And so, it looked pretty, and we started to walk intentionally over to it.

It was around this time where the joke in my head I've got my Al Bundy, yada yada yada turned into "Eek!!! We ARE (indeed) married with children." When did that happen? How is it--more often than not--when I think of something being 10 years ago I think of just starting college or my first factory job or well, just about anything that actually happened 20 years ago.

Impossible I am on the doorstep of 40. Well, not impossible. But surprising. Probably about as surprising as the reality I did marry a slightly less offensive version of Al Bundy and I love him a lot.

Omamacare

Mamas stress out way too much when it comes the care of their Little Peoples. Well, except my one friend, Andi. She has this fantastic, ulcer-free way to be less than manic when her youngest had knot the size of Toledo on his forehead. But most of the other women I know tend to freak at each minuscule scrape and try to figure out ways to adorn our babes in bubble wrap.

As someone who had their first ulcer at 17, I definitely wish I lived by the "rub-some-dirt-in-it" mantra.

Hudson is having trouble with his ears again. They are plugged and essentially he is hearing at less than 50%. I know this because we went back on Friday to the much despised local ENT (whose office, by the way, was running 45 minutes LATE at 8:30 a.m. Grrrrr....)

So, Hudson needs tubes surgery, plus an adenoid roto-rooting, and tonsillectomy. Well, jeez.
Despite the fact that most kids in the United States have one of these surgeries they are far from run of the mill and not always the safest things. The recuperating time for the tonsillectomy is two weeks of nothing. No running, no jumping, no activity. (Yeah, that sounds like a 5 year old boy.) School is only permitted after day 8 if I "trust his teacher will keep him sedated".

For our recent Goodbye Sunday Service, Hudson and the
other kids dressed up like "Little Bills" to represent our
pastor who is retiring from TCC. Adorable.

For those that do not remember, two years ago next month, another dear friend watched her five year old's tonsillectomy turn into a two weeks jaunt at Riley Hospital for Children which included a ventilator. That memory is way too fresh in my mind's eye to take this lightly. I would like to get a second opinion. I have been told by other mamas that the new threshold for a tonsillectomy is multiple strep throats within a couple months. Hudson has NEVER had a strep throat.

Being proactive, I decided to go ahead and schedule a second opinion appointment (next week) and surgery with current doctor. The first surgery opportunity was TODAY.  Or after October 22nd. If he has it between October 22 and October 31, he can not trick or treat. Well, since he is FIVE and he already is going to have to be tied down to be sedated for the 10 days after surgery, I am opting for a first of November surgery date.

You think I am done? Well, not really. Because it is 2013 and we have this really great thing called health insurance. By some lucky twist of fate, we have had zero health claims for Hudson (or really any of us!) this year, which means surgery would cost us about $5000 out of pocket.

$5000. Yikes.

Knowing that fate can not keep us all healthy for another calendar year, there is very serious interest in pushing this surgery to the 2014 calendar year. Like January. Like when we will have the whole year to allow Hudson to break bones or need stitches or some other costly health procedure.

Then I pause. For real, this is a thought?!?! Doesn't that seem backward? Or just reality of this day in age?

If I think about this anymore, I am going to have an ulcer this year. And that would cost $5000.

And that my friends is Omamacare in practice.