Find your focus

My first couple weeks in China were singlehandedly some of the worst days of my life. There were endless struggles. A lot of frustration. Constant fear. I was pretty sure that I was not cut out to deal with keeping my kids safe in such a foreign place. 

Aside from the wicked heat, which definitely was a factor, not much has changed in the past 16 weeks. Until all 10 million people in Wuhan have stopped to gawk at us, that factor will remain constant. Cars, taxis, and buses continue to try to run my kids and I over. And disregard most traffic laws. Communicating with our driver, Song, is always extremely difficult. People daily spit and pee on the street. Touch me in stores. Go through my shopping cart. Laugh when my kids squeal. Honk all. the. time. Don't speak my language. Don't seem to understand me when I speak theirs. Smoke everywhere. There are regularly man-eating (or child-eating) holes in the streets and sidewalks. Everywhere is filthy and smelly. Having to go the bathroom in a public place is horrid. I can count the number of blue skies I have seen on one hand. I miss luxury food items like cow's milk, beef, and eggs from the store without poop on them. I am still over 7,000 miles from my friends and family.

But I do not focus on any of that anymore. I am not overwhelmed. I have figured out how to back from all the chaos and noise and look at it a different way. I don't spite/fear/dislike/stress about China anymore. There is good here. And good has emerged from me living here.

This has to be the simplest thing to translate to everyday life, but few of us can do it. For years my favorite quote has been, “We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” (Carlos Castanda)

I suppose favorite quotes are only valuable if they actually alter into the way in which you live your life. So stop being miserable. It is a choice.