Mother's Day

 I remember an offending conversation I had about seven years ago with a friend. I was talking to her on the phone as I drove on I-65; the moment was so impactful (if that is a word) I can still see myself at the wheel fuming in my mind's eye.

The gist of our talk was about how I wouldn't have "a life of value" if I did not have children. There was an undertone to what she said, to summize, that the worth of a person was increased by their ability to mother. These were not the words to say to a person knee-deep in fertility treatments. If I had been on Clomid at that very moment, violence may have occurred. (I am very proud that only certain people in my life understand what that last sentence means!)
Just the thought of that exchange still bugs me to the core. Probably because we are no longer friends, so I can not call her and tell her--after 5 years of Motherhood how I still think she was so very wrong. Or, to be more hopeful, she just was having a really horrible time articulating herself.

Becoming a mother has done nothing to give me "a life of value". It has, however, given me a life of PURPOSE.

 Motherhood is a gift. And whether it was delivered to you via c-section, adoption papers, VBAC, foster parenthood, or 26 hours of pushing, you are given the most valuable present when that child comes into your life. But I don't think it makes you worth any more.

And while I am preaching (!), I think Motherhood comes with the very real price that suddenly, your needs are worth less than those around you. What you want is not nearly as important. I am fine with having less value for I have gained so much.

Feel free to argue with me....