Non-talker

There are not many words that accurately describe how you feel when you worry whether your child is  hitting the milestones they should be with their development. I suppose helpless is the most true, but it does little to feel like it surmises how I really feel.

While I assume I will always remember how I am feeling right now, I know that is not true. So, just for transparency for my older self who is reading this one day many moons from now, I will back up just a bit.

I was not concerned when Tucker was not talking in full sentences, with clarity, or even using sign language when he was 18 months. Yes, I remember reading back in older posts of this very blog and seeing the things his older brother had said and done and I was amazed. But I recognize Hudson is probably an exception. Or --at least exceptional --for a little boy. His vocabulary is so broad. Every teacher has said so. And Hudson talks enough for all of us. So, why would Tucker bother trying to get a word in edgewise?

Then we hit his 2 year appointment and there was the milestone chart. I think he was to be saying 18 different words by that point. And I felt that yes, if I counted animal sounds which are substitution for actual names like dog and cat, I could say that he said that many.

But it was already on my heart and my radar to be stressed about whether we had an issue on our hands. I vowed at his 30 month appointment to address it with the doctor. And here we are at 27 months and I have already researched the qualifications for First Steps Speech Therapy, etc. The ENT that we saw with Hudson a couple weeks ago gently suggested that before we pursue any type of therapy we have his hearing checked. And that appointment is today. In about 1 hour. And I have not slept much this week.

{Sigh.}

Earlier today we went with my best buddy Lois to run around and do errands. Lois is 75 and a great joy to all of our lives. In Target, in the art supply/calendar aisle Tucker said, "I lub ewe Lolo!" I about died. Of achievement. Then of jealousy. He strung a whole bunch of words together! I am so happy!

Oh, she really rubbed it in too. He said it again and then again at lunch. So, upon reaching home, I said can you say "I love you Mama"? and he did.

That will get me through the hearing test. And the next milestone made or not made. Stress sugarcoated with achievement. That is pretty much my life lately.