We walked to foreign fellowship leaving our apartment at 9:07 am. It was already hot. To get there we had to cross the major road out in front of our building which is under construction. Construction here is NOTHING like what you've ever seen before. First of all, they're building a double decker road. So there are cranes and diggers and equipment galore. Yet no "CAUTION there is a whole the size of a lawnmower" signs anywhere. There are no yellow indicator signs of where to be or drive. Cars, scooters, buses, just dive in and out of the "scaffolding". To cross the street we walked a block or so through the parking lots near us. It is crazy the mix of businesses near us. Foot massage/car wash/convenience store-ish/Chinese food/hotels/unidenifiable operations all crammed into little teeny spaces. One clear business near us is Mr. Mai's Coffee Shop/foreign language club. It is exactly what it sounds like: a place for locals and university students to come to and practice their skills. It looks promising. (You can find it on FB) So we are walking, it is ungodly hot, the smog hazes the city skyline, and we get to cross the major intersection north of us: Dongfeng and North Checheng Road.
Holy crap.
I won't describe it and for sensitive grandma readers, I won't, but Josh's quote literally was, "Now we are gonna take our lives in our own hands for a second"and when the ridiculously terrifying experience was over he said, "traffic isn't too bad right now". Gah... However, once we crossed we had a very calm, quiet stroll. It was actually... Pretty. A little park like grove of trees. Flowers everywhere. Aside from the river of sweat flowing down my back, it was pleasant. Little man did a heck of a job. It took us 30 minutes and a bottle of water to get there, but we made it.
Foreign fellowship is held in a conference room of the corporate building for Diamond Power. It is lightly air conditioned. The first person I saw was wearing an Ohio U green tshirt. (Awesome!) As the group of 40 to 50 people gathered one resounding thing stood out: people were so nice. Like Mary Poppins nice. Not just smiling, but welcoming. Introducing themselves. My "membership chair" self was overwhelmed. The entire room looked like home. A mix of races and ages (definitely not all white, although the Asians must be foreign because Chinese people can not attend church from what I gather). And so. Many. Younger. Couples. And most with two blond children.
The kids, who had been up since 4 am, were starting to fade. Both hung on us in the hot room like full body fat suits. The singing began. Just voices and a guitar. I sang but was soon crying (definitely more on the inside than out). In my head flashed every vision of the past 36 hours and my tired brain started to melt.
I came to China for very specific personal reasons. Among them...to step away from an American life consumed by things that take me away from being a more in tuned, more present parent to my kids. You know what I'm saying I hope. Be more patient. Be less stressed with the daily to do list....
Yet since we have been in China I have been a shining example of the worst mother. I snap at Hudson. I'm over anxious about everything. I'm fearful for their every step that is out of my control. And even those we take together across the street! All those things do not make for a good parent. If I can not get myself together, I'm leaving here pronto.
While singing, I silently I'll give myself a week and if it is not better I'm out of here.
But the songs get in. To me. To my heart. I felt very called to come here. It was not some rash, this-will-be-super-cool-and-nothing-else decision. Where is my patience? Where is my faith?
Following the six or so songs, I take the boys back with the other eleven or so kids (under the age of 5) to the little ones' class (in another VERY air conditioned) conference room. The teacher was amazing. Like Harry Wong (famous teaching pedagogy author) would write a book about her lesson. She taught the kids bible songs. Old stuff I have not sung in 35 years. She did the most awesome object lesson on the parable on forgiveness. And then she had to leave. Emergency call from her husband who was with her sick kids. Would I and this mother named Rebecca do the craft and snack? Um, sure.
Rebecca is from Texas and like many others at the fellowship she is here because if the international school. After our work is done and the kids had free play time, she offers to take me grocery/necessity shopping at WanDa shopping center this afternoon. Would I like that?
I burst into tears.
Walking out of foreign fellowship was as emotionally overwhelming as leaving our home church last Sunday. What seemed like everyone stopped us to give us the offer of their driver, their extra cellphone, a meal, to help with this transition. People looked at me intently and said nodding, "yep, I remember my first week here." One mother of two named Amy handed me a paper with her phone number and email on it and said, "Going to China [to live] is like childbirth: you read about it, you talk to friends, but nothing can prepare you for it."
AMEN.
We took a sweet lady from Ecuador's offer to go with us to the other side of the block and try to get money. (Easier said than done) Our second bank was a success! We have money!!! We can buy stuff! We can eat! And her offer included getting us with her via taxi to the (very American) Aloha Cafe for lunch. I'm dying to try more local cuisine, but Tucker has eaten so little up to this point, I want him to get something he will enjoy.
The taxi ride was ... I'll just edit myself and say that to only focus on those seconds where we were left of the double yellow heading straight towards that bus would be a disservice to the rest of the 10 minute ride which was equally terrifying. But it cost us 12 RMB ($2) and took us to the very quiet French street shopping area which looks calm and promising. Lunch was so great. Tucker sucked down a chocolate milkshake, huge grilled chicken breast, and fries like a true American. I am so grateful. Mr. Mai himself sat next to me in our group of 15 from church. The cinematic feature ET is showing at the coffeehouse tomorrow. They have kids programming each Saturday. And I get all the free tea and coffee I can ingest if I walk the 2 second jaunt from our apartment to voluntarily sit and speak English to all the locals. We left with full stomachs and love tanks. :)
The rest of the day was shopping (for me) and naps (for all the boys).
I know several of you have told me you envied this opportunity. Fair enough. But remember we are not tourists here. I'm not just walking the Great Wall of China and feasting on eggrolls all day. I'm breathing in the smog with the adventure. Culture shock does not even describe it.
Mr. Mai, real name David, unsolicited advice told me that I need to give it 30 days. (Did I have "I'm outta here" plastered on my face???) China is not for the faint of heart. Your hungry but don't know how to order. Your scared but don't know what is safe.
You have to be patient to hear God. So I will try.
Written Monday, July something
1:30-3:19 a.m. Wuhan, China
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