Wish you were here

I wish you were here. We would have such a fun time. I get excited just thinking about how I would fill our day with going to the market and sightseeing and eating. Assuming you were over your jet lag, we would hit the streets early. Even though we would be safely riding around with Song, there would be that aghast look across your face as we maneuvered through traffic. It would be almost be refreshing to see it because over time I know that I have grown accustomed to the craziness and your face would remind me of how insane it really is. To start we would have to go to my favorite market so we could shop for groceries and get some zhi tsuh ma da bing bread which will absolutely just rock your world. We can gross out all the locals by eating with our fingers, so if we wish to be "more civilized" you will learn that anytime you wish to eat anything with your hands, we will need to find you some plastic gloves. (They even give those out at McDonalds so you don't touch your food with your fingers.)

It will be surprising to you how cold it is here. Even though the air temperature is mid 40s, the wet air here is biting. When I try to explain how hot we were for the first half of our trip, you will not believe me. We will have lengthy discussions about why they do not run the heat in any public building. You will never have been so cold walking INSIDE places of business before.

When hanging out with a group of expat friends in China, it seems like you always designate the one who knows Mandarin best to be the speaker for the group. Unfortunately, you will be stuck with me, so while I might be able to communicate some items clearly, you will get a kick out of my elaborate miming of concepts and things which I do not know the words for. You will make a mental note for the future that I will be a fabulous partner in charades.

Inside the marketplace you will get to see all those fruits and vegetables that are so common here and so very uncommon in the America. We will visit my favorite spice stall and get huge chunks of ginger and garlic. And maybe a new bottle of chili oil for kicks.

The area of the market where they are cutting meat is not for the faint of heart, but you will be up for it. We will laugh at the pigs feet and slabs of fat hanging from their meat hooks. I will tell you about my fascination with their mammoth butcher blocks which are just slabs from the middle of a tree. We can waste 30 minutes just trying to figure out which type of rice we want to buy, and assuming the kids are occupied, it is a fun way to spend our time.

Where to go for lunch will be a huge decision. You will be famished for some food earlier than usual because of all the walking. We will decide to grab some quick jiaozi saving room for possible baozi later on. We will try both the steamed and fried varieties because they are both fantastic. You will be shocked that we are eating lunch in a restaurant with our coats and hats on.

We will walk around the area of restaurants after our meal watching the cooks at the other places. The men hand pulling noodles and making quick flips with giant woks is fascinating. We will gawk at the women scrubbing and cleaning vegetables for the evening meals outside the front doors of eateries and the random businesses that are sprinkled in between: the flesh eating fish spas, the baijiu and cigarette shops, the bakeries with their flavorless bread, KTV, dodgy massage options, travel "agents" and the kids clothing shops.

I will already have warned you that I personally try to avoid drinking too many liquids so that I can avoid squatty potties. Hudson, who has the bladder the size of a pea, will have already gone to the bathroom in random alleys and stairwells. (Lucky males!) Suddenly, you will completely understand why I am glad I did not potty train Tucker before we came.

Even though Wuhan has little touristy things to see, you can pick whether we go to Tea Street or Scooter Street or Meat Street or Plant Street or Electronics Street or Fabric Market or Coffee Street or Crazy Market: any of these places would give us hours of entertainment, not to mention blocks upon blocks of stuff to see. You will comment again about the incessant honking and traffic and smog.

You will finally understand what I mean when I tell you that the sun can be shining and you can not see it. 

By afternoon you will want a true local snack and ever since you saw the huge grinder pulverizing the sesame seeds at the market this morning, you have thought about trying the Wuhan hot and dry noodles, reganmian. They are the one treat you can only get in Hubei providence. A big ole bowlful of noodles will cost you 3 RMB (or 50 cents USD) and you will  understand my love of cheap Chinese eats.

 You will end your day on a incredibly hard Chinese mattress. It will take you longer than usual to get comfortable. You might miss parts of home, but glad we are experiencing this together. For me, it will be like a dream come true.